Welcome!

BLOOMFIELD, NJ-- Hello and welcome to the Fake News Bureau (FNB), your source for untrue news around the world (but mostly on the Eastern Seaboard for now). The news, on a daily basis is not funny. What happens most of the time, that is eventually made into news by reporters, is actually funny. People say things that are edited out. They mumble and use slurs. They scratch themselves. None of this tends to make it into a hard news article, and for good reason. Here at the FNB, though, we do not present hard news. Ours is limp and lukewarm. We want you to smile and enjoy yourself. We want you to, for at least a few minutes, escape from the real news--the distressing or boring stuff--that permeates local newspapers and radio and television broadcasts.

Each and every bit of news on this site is fake. Completely and utterly fake. We would hope that would be obvious by the name of our illustrious organization, but we'll remind you again. Everything here is fake. For a further reminder that our news is indeed fake and by no means meant to pull anyone's name, if it is indeed a real person, through the mud, please visit our disclaimer. If you don't want to, we'll sum up. Our news is fake. Sometimes we use real names, yes, but that is purely to make the story even funnier to someone from that area. Everything on the website is fake. Except for this. We're serious about this. We're happy you're here.

And once again, all together now, our news is fake.

Enjoy.